This Christmas...

This Christmas was probably the best Christmas we've had thus far (strictly speaking from a mother's point of view). It was quiet and relaxing and most important - the kids had a blast.

This year I decided to do something different. I decided to be organized (gasp - yes, me being organized is a very scary thought). And I have learned some valuable lessons along the way.

1.) Starting the Christmas shopping early in September is a good thing. I have tried this in the past, but then forgot what I did get the kids and ended up going overboard for presents. This year I made a list (the new organized me) and I stuck to it.

2.) All my shopping was done before Thanksgiving (with the exception of 2 things that I had to wait to get). I was kind of scared to do that in fear of missing a good deal with Black Friday, but what I found was the complete opposite. Because I had the time to shop around and compare prices, I was able to get better deals. The upside of this was I didn't have to fight the Black Friday crowd and deal with crazy people or stand in line.

3.) Handmade Christmas presents are kind of fun. I actually enjoyed putting my heart into something and thinking of the person as I was making it. Kind of corny I know, but it taught me something.

4.) Instead of making the Christmas Feast on Christmas day, we opted to do it on Christmas Eve. My thinking was I wanted Christmas to be as relaxed as possible for everyone (not just the kids). I really liked it this way. It was a special dinner, and the kids knew it. Combine that with the anticipation of Santa, the reading of Luke 2 and some egg nog - Christmas Eve couldn't have run smoother. And the benefit of all that cooking is that I didn't have to cook at all on Christmas day (or the day after that). In fact, instead of having to worry about timing all the dishes to be done at the same time, I got to take a much needed nap.

5.) Having your hubby home the week leading up to Christmas instead of the week following Christmas is awesome. He was such a big help and we were able to do things as a family. He even helped me wrap presents a few days before Christmas so we didn't have to wrap anything on Christmas Eve. (I know that this is a luxury and won't happen every year...but it is certainly something I can strive for).

6.) Taking down all the Christmas decorations the day after Christmas is awesome. Sure waiting until New Year's is okay. But this way, I can enjoy the rest of the season and move into the new year without the nagging thought crossing my mind, "Man, I still have to get that put away..." every time I look into the living room.

7.) Being organized isn't such a bad thing...I just might have to try it again next year. :)

Now on the the fun part...Picture time!

Aleana

This year Aleana asked for a telescope. But every telescope I have seen has been out of our price range. I tried to think of a way and got stumped, so I put Trace on the task. He did his research, and every thing that he read said the same thing. Don't go out a buy a telescope. More often than not, they are not good quality, and the kids get frustrated because they don't know what to look for in the sky. However, it was recommended to learn more about stargazing one should buy a pair of binoculars (a particular strength, but I can't remember what) and this book called "Turn Right at Orion".

We debated whether or not she would like this. We didn't want to give a dud present. In the end, we decided to go for it. Oh boy, I sure am glad we did. It was a huge success! I decided to put it together as a "Stargazing Kit" which included the binoculars, the book, as well as a pair of gloves, a thermos, and some hot cocoa (because goodness knows, it's not going to warm up here anytime soon). She was so excited.

Aleana testing out her very own binoculars...also wearing her brand new snuggie (sigh).

Aleana cuddling with her new Panda-pillow form Grandma and Grandpa Giles. Thank you!

Aleana also got an apron and a Cookbook by Paula Deen for kids from her Grandma Buggy and Papa, but we somehow missed getting that picture. Just to let you know, she really likes it and is already planning a meal for this coming week. Thanks!

Trent

Trent was easy to shop for this year. He's at a perfect age, where what he wants is still on the cheaper side of things and he's not too picky. He asked for a laser car that drives on the wall...and that's what he got. I must admit, it's a pretty cool little toy.

His car in action. We got a video clip too, but I don't have patience to download it.

Grandma Buggy and Papa got Trent this Car tracks set. The tracks are flexible and really easy to assemble. As you can tell, all the kids had fun with it, especially Trent. A big thank you, as I am sure this will continue to keep him entertained.

Grandma and Grandpa Giles got him the Glider Plane that comes with a launcher. He is dying for the weather to warm up and the snow to melt so he can go test it out. Thank you!

Hannah

Being the age she is, Christmas was a lot of fun. This was the first year she caught on to who that fat man with a white beard is, as well as opening presents. I found this great pack of doll stuff at Costco. It has a stroller, crib, high chair, baby doll and accessories. She loves it. Although sometimes she gets confused as to who really is the baby. :)

Once Hannah saw the baby doll picture on the box, her patience went out the window. She wanted that box opened. And she wanted it NOW!

Grandma Buggy and Papa got her some dress-up clothes. As you can tell, she's lovin' it. (Hard hat not included). Thanks!

Hannah was so cute when she opened her present up from Grandma and Grandpa Giles. Because Aleana had opened hers up first, Hannah knew exactly what it was. In fact, she went and got her beloved blanket and sippy cup, then laid down and said, "Night-night".

Best Bargain Gift

Every year, we get the kids a game for Christmas. This year I decided to get them a marble run. I did my research and didn't like what I found. Some had bad reviews, some didn't come with a lot of pieces - which forced you to buy the "expansion set", and some just wanted too much money. Then I found this marble run (on like page 12 of the google search - on a school supply website out of all places). It had good reviews, it cost less than half of what the others were asking, it had good strong pieces and lots of them. I was so excited, that I bought two, so they could make giant marble runs. And of course, they liked it and spent over three hours playing with it. So. Cool.

They built this puppy so high, that they needed a chair to get to the start. They also timed it, and it set a "new" record at the Giles game hall of fame. It took an amazingly long 24.77 seconds to travel it's way to the bottom. :)

My Favorite Toy

Who says that the parents can't play with the kids' toys - especially at Christmas?!? This was my favorite - we have had a a lot of fun and laughs with this one. Aleana and Trent both got one. And just so you know what marshmallows the kids don't get picked up...Sasha manages to get rid of the evidence. :)

Homemade Marshmallow Shooter:

Trent, as our demonstrator, shows what type of ammo to use.

He then demonstrates how to load the gun.

And finally, how to operate it.

Post Christmas

After we took the decorations down, Trace was on a roll. He got the new crib set up. I have to say that this is the third crib we have owned. With the first, half the pieces got lost somewhere between Germany and the U.S. Trent broke the second one beyond repair...which brings us to this one:

Isn't she pretty? It's the best crib we've owned by far. We found it at this upscale baby store called Baby Daily in Meridian. It was marked over 50% off, simply because it was the floor model and they were no longer carrying that color. Since there wasn't any matching furniture to go with it, they marked it down. Good news for us! So basically we ended up getting a crib that is worth $600.00 but only cost $40.00 more that what we could have gotten at Walmart. Score!!!

View with the side unlatched. Now all I have to do is get the bedding, double stroller, clothing, and other baby supplies. :)

Homemade

1.) Christmas = Buckeyes in the Giles home. It's the tastiest-most-delicious-morsel-of-yumminess that has ever been invented. Okay, maybe not the best in all the world, but the best in this house. We had fun making them this year as the kids and hubby were able to help and make it a fun family activity (of course it helps to know that they could eat their mistakes).

The assembly line.

2.) You know how women, late in their pregnancy, get the urge to nest - to clean, and organize their homes to prepare for the impending arrival. Well, I suffer from no such thing. In fact, when I wake up in the morning, take a look around the house and realize what actually needs to be done - I just have to urge to crawl back in bed and hope that little elves will come and have pity on me.

Instead, I get "crafty". I have this overwhelming desire to make cute things - or should I say things that look cute until I decide to make them. Of course it helps that I have to spend a majority of my time sitting with my feet up. So somewhere along the line I decided to make some things for Christmas gifts. I actually enjoyed making them, and finished them without having to rush to get them mailed out (a Christmas miracle in and of itself - especially considering my tendency to procrastinate and I assure you that it will probably never happen again).

For the sibling exchange, we had Christie and David on my side. I made them this needlework. I found the coolest frame at the World Market, but you can't really see it here.

For Trace's family, we had Todd and Jill and I made them something similar - although I didn't get a picture of the finished project. This was at the stage where I had finished the needlework, had distressed the fabric and was just waiting for it to dry.

For the cousin gift exchange on Trace's side, Aleana decided to make a tutu for Brittany. She did a great job. I also made one for Hannah. They are super easy. I found this video (click here) that really helped with a technique that "cut" out time with cutting the strips. I used elastic instead ribbon because just the thought of having to tie and re-tie the ribbon a ba-zillion times a day for a two year old made my head spin. From start to finish, it took me 40 minutes to make - and that was while I was watching TV.

Embroidered a dish towel for my parents.

Another one for the parents.

One for my Grandpa Scharf.

And one for my Grandma Baker.

And even though this wasn't for Christmas, this was something else that I got finished this month. I decided to try my hand at crocheting. I have tried a few times before, but the results were...um...let's just say not so pretty. So I decided to start out small and do the edge around a hemstitched flannel blanket for baby boy. I think it turned out okay, but I learned that I crochet tight. The next time I will just have to use a bigger needle than what the pattern recommends.

Larger view of the blanket.

And that's enough craftiness for now... :)

December 2009

December is always a fun-filled, but very busy month. We managed to get the tree up, make it to all the concerts and Christmas parties, as well do some family activities on our own.

Hannah was really good with the tree. There wasn't a single tree-tipping incident this year. She would mostly sit or stand next to the tree and hold the ornaments and say "pretty". I was so concerned that she would get into the ornaments, but I have to say she kind of surprised me. She actually listens when you tell her not to touch. Who knew a kid was capable of that?!? :)

It's always fun getting pictures in the snow...and this was no exception. But Trace probably could have waited for them to change out of their church clothes first - especially when it was only 4 degrees outside. Poor, poor Aleana.

Aleana at her very first violin concert. She looks so serious.

For a family activity we decided to go to the Boise Botanical Gardens. We heard they had a great light display, and I have to say - I thought it was pretty darn cool. We picked the best night of the week (thankfully) - it was 37 degrees out with clear skies. There was plenty of hot cocoa and cookies when we got there. Aside from being 8 months pregnant, I thought it was a fun relaxing night for all of us.

Aleana and Trent - actually being nice to each other. Now we have proof! :)

A cool bird nest thing that the kids liked playing with.

So, it was advertised that Santa would be there and the kids could meet him and get a picture. However, when we got there - we discovered how long of a line there was. We had no desire to wait over an hour to see a semi-good Santa. So this was as close as they got, and they didn't seem to mind.

The line to meet "Prancer" wasn't near as long though. Aleana's response to petting him: "He wasn't that soft." Guess she expected him to feel like a fluffy bunny.

Trent's response to the reindeer: "He wasn't that big. He's way too little. How is that supposed to help Santa?"

A fatter-pregnant me, with my three angels.

Just thought it was so funny that they even saw fit to decorate the outhouse. Only in Idaho.

Trace, Aleana and Trent - great picture.

Bunk Beds!

We finally bit the bullet. We've been saving for a while to get the girls a bunk bed set. I have searched for a while, trying to find something I want, that would work, that I would actually be willing to spend some money on. It was a little frustrating, because I would think I would find something, only when I tested it, the beds were too flimsy or built poorly or designed funky. However, we found this little gem ON SALE! Woohoo! At least it made me feel a little bit better. The girls really love it, and it fits nicely in such a small room and has drawers, a desk and shelves to help with space-saving.

The nice furniture guys delivered it and assembled it for us while the kids were at school. Tracy was able to come home early, so he hid on the top bunk. When Aleana climbed up there, she got quite the shock. I tried to get a picture of it, but I missed it - choosing to save the toddler from falling instead. Needless to say, it was a classic moment.

Cute Pics

I am not sure why, but we seem to have an abundance of cute pictures of Hannah Bear. I am assuming it is because she's at that stage where the majority of what she does is cute. We then take these pictures to have something to go back on when things aren't so cute. :)

Classic Hannah look. We refer to it as the "rag-muffin" look. She doesn't enjoy having her hair done, and on most days, it's a battle that isn't worth the fight.

Have I ever said how awesome our dog is? Oh, ya - I have. This is just to add to the proof.

Not too sure why this picture kept rotating when I downloaded it to the blogger. It's saved the other way...and I tried twice to get it to rotate. No such luck. Anyway...I loved this picture. It's Trace and his girls hanging out - watching..wait - could it be? Yes, football. His response - "Well, you gotta start 'em while they're young." (insert sheepish grin).

Hannah enjoying one of her favorite activities - coloring. It's so easy to keep her entertained.

"Helping" me with the dishes. :)

Instead of using the toy as it was intended, Hannah decided she wanted a place to sit...

And got stuck.

Halloween 2009

We had a couple of different parties to attend this year for Halloween, which almost (I say almost) made me feel like it was worth it to buy costumes. I didn't have to buy costumes last year because what they had still fit (with the exception of Hannah - but I made hers and it cost me a whole $3 or something like that). Hopefully next year, these new additions to the Halloween bin will still fit and I won't have to spend more money for something they wear for a few hours. Anyway...Aleana decided that she wanted to be a sorceress, Trent wanted to be a Transformer, and Hannah - well - I wanted her to be a pirate.

So Aleana wanted to be "pretty, but scary" (heaven forbid that there's "ugly and scary" out there). So I bought the cheapie costume make-up at the grocery store and tried my best.

I decided to take a close-up picture of her to prove my "awesomeness" at amatuer make-up application. When I looked at the picture however, I realized 2 things. 1.) If Halloween make-up makes her look this much older...the regular make-up that she'll want to wear in three years might have to wait a few more. 2.) How much does she look like her Aunt Tessa?!? Now I know Tess and I look a lot alike, however, we have our unique characteristics. But, I just cannot get over how much Aleana looks like her.

Ay' my lil' pirate. She made the cutest little pirate e-v-e-r...down to her battle scar, which she decided she needed to have to be in "full-character". The headboard she bonked her head on survived without damage, however, she required 4 stitches. If something like this had to happen, I couldn't have asked for better timing.

Then there's Mr. Optimus Prime. Trent's costume was fairly easy. No make-up or stitches required. Heck, I didn't even have to comb his hair. And with his imagination, he had a blast this Halloween.

Backyard Camping

We've been telling the kids that we would take them camping for the past two years. Two summers ago we decided that moving to Idaho instead was enough of an adventure for a while. Then this past summer, we decided to move out of the apartment (hallelujah!) and into a house. Oh, and let's factor in some morning sickness and that equals more than enough adventure once again...so no camping in the woods for us. Finally, in October, when we actually had a free weekend and the weather was perfect (warm in the day, chilly at night) we went for it...in our backyard (hey it's better than nothing - at least that's what we told the kids).

The kids had so much fun. It was the first time we got to use our new tent ("new" meaning we have had it for three years and had yet to take it out of the box). The tent is awesome - sleeps 11 and has two "rooms". It was fairly easy to set up - Tracy did most of the work, and he was the "cool" dad because he slept outside with Aleana and Trent. I, on the other hand, slept in my nice, soft, warm and cozy bed - while Hannah slept in hers. Now that's my idea of camping!

Tracy getting things set up...

Trent getting in on the action...

So what if he didn't start setting it up until it was almost dark outside...that's what porch lights are for...

Hannah - convinced that this is all for her...

Blogger Burnout

Lately, I keep thinking that I need to update my blog.

I have plenty of ideas and about 100 pictures that still need to be downloaded from the camera. I keep telling myself as soon as the pics get downloaded, I will post something. But the truth is, even if there were new pictures to post, I wouldn't. Why, one might ask? Well, I think I am suffering from an acute attack of "Blogger Burnout".

I don't know, it maybe that I am just tired. Or it could be that I would rather take a nap (which I insist is like my own version of Prozac - it keeps me happy - to other's benefit I might add). Lack of time might be the problem. Having three kids, and one on the way...school activities, church activities, chores, homework...

Maybe, it's because it's already November. Christmas season is quickly coming upon us and I have been trying my hardest to get all my shopping done BEFORE Thanksgiving. (Rather ambitious, I know - a girl can dream, can't she?) I hate shopping at the stores (oh the holy grail of internet shopping...I don't even have to get out my pj's...) And I hate crowds but I LOVE getting a good deal. So Black Friday comes, and as always, it tempts me with its' good deals and steals in which it unfailingly succeeds...managing to wrangle me out of bed at an unimaginable hour. (You know "the hour", the one when the sun points it's finger at me and shouts "sucker" after it realizes that I was awake first). But this year, it will be different because I am prepared...I could blame my lack of blogging activity on the Holiday season and my current drive to get everything done, but that wouldn't be true either.

The truth is, I am getting sick of blogging. Did I just say that?!? (Blogger please do not zap my computer...) Don't get me wrong - I really enjoy reading everyone else's blogs - seeing cute pics, reading funny stories, getting new recipes to try, even getting cute crafty ideas. But, I just don't have the desire to blog anymore. I originally started this to update my friends and family about our little family life and to document it for my kids. But now, I have too many ideas that I want to blog about - like writing stories, and sharing experiences, voicing my opinions, and venting. The problem is there is just too much. So much, that I don't want to do any of it - because it takes too much time. Grrrr.

Does anyone else suffer from this?

Grateful...once again.

Okay, it's another insanely long post. But again, I did this for me. I want to eventually put all my posts in a book for the kids, and I think this needs to be in it. On the bright side, there's some great ultrasound pics at the end :)

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Dr. Davidson, my awesome OB doc called me on a Sunday night, just over a month ago. And let's just say, it's never a good thing when the doctor calls on the weekend. Although, if bad news must be delivered, it is better to wait until Sunday, as opposed to Friday. That way, one doesn't have to wait the whole weekend to get more answers. I am grateful that she had taken that, as well as Tracy only being home on the weekends, into consideration.

I had been in for a standard prenatal appointment the Wednesday prior. She ordered the typical blood work. I had passed the 16 week point, which meant I needed to get the quad screen done. The quad screen is the test that can indicate birth defects by measuring about 4 different hormone levels that have been passed into my bloodstream from the placenta. Then, taking the measurement of those levels, as well as my age and gestational age of the baby into consideration, the findings are compared to a data base to see if my levels fall within the "norm". Studies have found a trend of abnormal hormone levels in the mother to babies born with birth defects and genetic problems such as spinal bifida and Down Syndrome.

I debated as to whether or not I should get this test done, as we have had a "false positive" (for the lack of a better word) when I was pregnant with Aleana. The test showed she was at a higher risk for have Trisomy 21 - also known as Down Syndrome. The Doctor at the time recommended that we terminate the pregnancy. Of course, we didn't. It certainly scared us, but as we got more information, we learned that the risk wasn't that high. We did get a level II ultrasound, which was really fun to watch, and she looked just fine. There were no soft markers to indicate that she had Downs (soft markers meaning certain visible birth defects that can be detected by ultrasound, such as abnormal heart, longer limbs, forehead size, jaw size, etc.). We were given the option to get an amnio done, but we declined. The risk of miscarriage due to the amnio was greater than the risk of Down Syndrome was. We felt good, and thought she would be fine. But we did try to prepare ourselves for the possibility, and strongly felt in our hearts that whatever way she came, she was meant to come to our home and be in our family. I gained a stronger appreciation of parents who have children with Down Syndrome, and the love, beauty and sacrifice that is there. And of course, we all know the outcome, she was born perfectly healthy without any complications. So getting this test, I knew that it isn't always "right", that it's just an indicator, not a diagnosis.

As Dr. Davidson was talking to me about the results of my blood work, I fully expected her to tell me that my levels were abnormal for Down Syndrome. No biggie - this was something I have dealt with before, and I knew the process. She went down the list, and said that it wasn't Downs. My mind started racing. It was something else. My levels came back abnormal for something called Trisomy 18 (T18), also known as Edward's Syndrome. My. Heart. Dropped. She asked if I knew what that was. Yes, I knew...I just kept thinking...please don't let it be this...please don't let it be this...my mind clouded and eyes began to do the same. She asked if I had any questions. Of course I had questions...lots of them. Forcing myself to think clearly and not burst into tears, I asked. And she did really good at answering them (which is something that has to be hard in situations like this). I asked for risks/odds numbers, how many had she treated in my same situation, and so forth. The outlook was not so good. Since they added T18 to the screen, she had only seen 3 other patients with abnormal readings. Two that were a false positives, and one did actually have T18, and there was fetal demise at 39 weeks. These types of test results are much more rare than with Down Syndrome, partly because with Downs, all 4 hormone levels are abnormal - which could mean that the placenta is too thick to allow them to pass through. With T18, however, only 3 of the 4 are abnormal. To make matters worse, my numbers were horrible. On average, 1 out 6000 babies are born with Trisomy 18. My risks came back with 1 in 10. Quite the difference.

I hung up the phone, and started sobbing. Not the ugly cry, or the hurt cry. It was the helpless, bottomless pit, hole in the heart, kind of cry. I had just started to be excited about this pregnancy. I had passed the crucial 1st trimester worries. I had heard the heartbeat. The thoughts of possible miscarriage had subsided in my mind. Now this. Tracy had heard part of the conversation, and came over. I fell into his arms, and cried. He understood the gravity of the situation, and he just let me cry. How he kept it "all together", I will never know. I am grateful for his strength and being able to literally lean on him when I am not strong enough. I cried for 2 hours. TWO HOURS! I haven't cried that long since I was 12 (had a good reason then as well). I kept trying to stop, but then I would look up and see my kids - my crazy, perfect kids and the preciousness of it all, and the tears would come back again.

I had seen a documentary on Discovery Health about 4 years ago. It was before I was even pregnant with Hannah. It covered 3 women whose babies were diagnosed with Trisomy 18. One had decided to terminate the pregnancy. One had carried the baby full-term, only to have the baby die during delivery. And one, who was able to have a live birth, having the baby only live a few months. I knew what carrying a baby with T18 meant. After being able to compose myself, I decided that I needed more information. So I googled and googled and googled. I purposely didn't look at any pictures. I tried to get information through discussion boards and threads of women who were in my situation of the "unknown". It began to get much more depressing, as I truly realized how high my risks really were in comparison to most. Google is a blessing and a curse at the same time. I got so much information, trying to find comfort and only finding more fear.

T18 is a chromosomal defect of the 18th marker. When conception happens, a mutation occurs. Babies with this have severe birth defects. They can have heart defects, kidney problems, the esophagus sometime doesn't connect to the stomach, part of the intestinal tract can be outside the stomach, cysts on the brain, delayed growth, severe developmental delays, clenched hands, clubbed feet, strawberry shaped head, low-set ears, and a small jaw. Only about 50% of babies with this condition make it full-term. Of the 10% that live though the delivery, only 1% live longer than a few hours. Scary. Stuff.

I can honestly say I tried to look at the positive. 1 in 10 still isn't that bad. "90% is still an A", I kept trying to tell myself. But in the wee hours of the morning, when sleep obviously isn't going to happen, dark sad thoughts have tendency to break through the exhaustion. What if my baby is one of the 10 out of 100? How can I plan for a birth and a funeral at the same time? How am I going to explain that to my other children? How am I going to be able to handle this? And trust me, I spent a lot of time on my knees. If I wasn't on my knees there was always a prayer in my heart.

I had made the decision to call my parents and let them know. Even though we didn't have any answers, I was scared and I wanted them to know. They fasted and prayed for me, as well as many others, including my sweet little Aleana. After a sleepless night, I got up and robotically got the kids ready for school. Tracy was heading out the door for the week, and I was trying to get the kids to eat. Aleana told me she wasn't hungry (which is NEVER the case. She likes her breakfast.) Upon further prodding, she informed me that she was fasting for me and the baby. Tracy caught ear of this, and said she needed to be sure to start her fast with a prayer. She informed him that she knew that, which was why she had prayed the night before. Just when I thought I was done with the crying part, it started again. I was so touched that my little 9 year old had the faith and love to do that on her own. Simply inspiring.

Tracy had offered to stay home with me, but I told him I needed to stay busy, and that no matter if he were here or there, I would still have to deal with this. My visiting teachers, who I had cancelled an appointment with because I just couldn't handle visitors, brought me dinner Monday night and checked in on me. It was truly humbling that other people whether through a thoughtful prayer or an act of kindness were there for support. And because of that, and the fact that pregnant women aren't supposed to pull all-nighters, I slept better the next night.

When I awoke Tuesday morning, I felt completely different. There was no heartache. No heavy despair in the pit of my stomach. No forcing myself to get out of bed. In fact, I opened my eyes, stretched - thinking about what a good sleep I had, before I remembered the past few days. It wasn't even on my mind. I felt so calm. I had a distinct feeling that I was going to be okay. Not that the baby would be okay, but that no matter what happened...I. Am. Going. To. Be. Okay. Words cannot express the peace that has brought to me this past month. True unfaltering peace. And the thought of the power of prayer and what it can do is humbling. I had a lot crazy stuff happen in my life that was beyond my control. This situation isn't any different, except I have never felt the sweet relief of my burdens being lifted that much. It is a feeling I don't think I will ever forget.

I had my 1st of 2 level II ultrasounds on the following Thursday. They spent about an hour and a half studying the baby and taking measurements. He wasn't that cooperative, but they managed to get almost everything they needed. They looked for the soft-markers with the heart, brain, kidneys, stomach, limbs, and head shape. Everything looked normal. His growth was right on track. In fact, he was a few days ahead - which is a good sign. The perinatologist came in and was worried because we couldn't get a clear shot of the hands. Clenched fists are one of the more significant signs of T18. They tried of a few more minutes and finally got a clear shot. Hands look normal. I was so relieved. But then he then explained to me that just because they aren't seeing any soft markers doesn't rule out T18. There have been babies born with T18 that showed no symptoms. It is rare, but it does happen. That coupled with not being able to get clearer shots of the heart, Dr. Blea couldn't rule T18 out. Which meant we weren't out of the woods yet.

This was the shot of the hand they ended up getting (to make sure his hands weren't clenched). He's our little Rockstar!

The only way I could get a more definite answer was to get an amnio. I met with the genetic counselor and discussed my options. Going into the appointment, I had made my mind up that I was going to get the amnio. I wanted to know. I wanted to be prepared and know if we needed to monitor things more closely. But ultimately I decided not to. Not because I was confident that baby boy would be okay, but I was scared. Tracy wasn't there, and this was something I didn't want to do on my own. I asked if having another ultrasound down the road to compare this first one to would help. The doctor agreed noting that it would be a safer route, and we scheduled another appointment...a month down the road. He wanted the baby to be bigger to get better views of the heart. A whole month...sigh.

Update: We just had the 2nd level II ultrasound last week. And things couldn't have gone better. Baby boy is thriving. He is now a week and a half ahead of schedule (which is kind of normal for my babies at this point). He heart looks great, as well as everything else. This time when the perinatologist came in and took a quick look, he didn't even give me an amnio option. No hemming or hawing about statistics. He just looked at me and said, "Things look great. And I don't need to see you again. Not that I don't like you, but you can keep seeing your regular OB." What a relief! There is still a part of me that is worried, but I have gotten to a point to finally realize that what happens will happen.

This past month has been hard. But like most trials, I have come out a better person. My heart has been touched. I have learned some valuable lessons about support and not "going it alone". I have learned that prayer as simple as it is, is a powerful tool - and that the answers that come quietly are what is needed at the time, not necessarily what is wanted on our own timeline. I am very blessed. Again, I am grateful.

Now on to the ultrasound pics:

Head shot

Good Profile

It's a boy! I was showing Trent the pics, and asked him what he thought this was a picture of, and his reply was "It looks like a dinosaur flipper!" I explained what it really was...definitely not a dinosaur flipper :)

Flexing some muscle

This is what it looks like when he kicks me.

Peace out!